


Fire and Ice

by FinSu



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers, Naruto
Genre: AU, Crack, Humor, Kyuubi is an ass, sweden is confused
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-10-23
Updated: 2015-01-06
Packaged: 2018-02-22 09:12:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,242
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2502395
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FinSu/pseuds/FinSu
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>One morning Berwald and Kurama wake up to find themselves...not in their usual homes. Hilarity ensues! What does Japan know about this?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Decada](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Decada/gifts).



> Kyuubi's human name is Kurama. Sweden's is Berwald Oxenstierna. Human names used in this story.
> 
> NARUTO is owned by Kishimoto Masashi and Hetalia is owned by Himaruya Hidekaz.
> 
> TW FOR MENTIONS OF RAPE
> 
> Other mentioned names:
> 
> -Senju Tsunade is the Godaime (5th) Hokage of Konoha  
> -Morino Ibiki is the head of Torture and Interrogation  
> -Yamanaka Inoichi is Ino's father, the Yamanaka are a class famous for their mind reading techniques  
> -Sweden lives with the other Nordics and his 2 kids, Sealand (Peter) and Ladonia (Oskar)  
> -Sweden, Denmark (Mathias), Norway (Lukas), and Iceland (Eiríkur aka Erik) are brothers  
> -Kyuubi and Naruto have a brotherly relationship  
> -Tsunade sees Naruto as a surrogate little brother  
> -Sweden is gay and in love with Finland (Tino)

Chapter 1: What Did I Do Last Night?

Berwald Oxenstierna opened his eyes, yawned and stretched, and stood up to get his morning coffee, when he crashed into something heavy and iron.

Confused, he reached around for his glasses and slipped them on. What greeted him was an enormous iron gate with a piece of paper labelled "Seal" in kanji.

It was then that he noticed he was standing in about 3 feet of water. It was dark, gave the feel of a sewer, and smelled heavily of ramen.

He wrinkled his nose in disgust, rolling up the legs of his pants and scaling the enormous gate. He reached out and ripped off the piece of paper.

Suddenly everything faded to white.

When he awoke, he found himself handcuffed to a hospital bed with many eyes staring at him.

"Gah! Where am I! And who are you?" He frantically yanked the handcuffs from the bedpost and fled, only to be cornered by several ANBU.

"We'll be asking the questions, demon." A woman's voice hissed in his ear.

"D-demon? Hey, wait a minute!" He protested, struggling against the strong grip on his arms.

"Take him to Ibiki, and bring in Yamanaka Inoichi." Tsunade ordered, taking a swig of sake right from the bottle. She frowned at the unconscious form of Naruto, and gently pet his spiky hair.

Tsunade then left Sakura to keep watch over Naruto, joining Ibiki and Inoichi in interrogating the "demon."

When she walked in, she was shocked to find the room almost destroyed, Inoichi in shock from the memories he just saw, Ibiki tied to a pole, and a terrified blond man clinging to the rafters.

"What happened in here?" She cried.

"Well Tsunade-sama, he's not a demon. He's definitely not a human though. Some of those memories were terrifying to experience." Inoichi shook in his ninja sandals, a pitying expression directed at the Swede.

"What? Then what happened to the room?" She sweat dropped, imagining all the evil paperwork that would result from this.

"To gain access to his memories we tied him down, but he freaked out and started screaming about rape, kicking and scratching at anything that was near him. He tied Ibiki up and fled to the rafters...I only got to a few of his memories, and none of them were pleasant."

Tsunade sighed, "It's alright, we won't hurt you. Please come down and tell me your name." She whispered as quietly and motherly as possible.

Berwald slowly climbed down, and stood in front of the Konoha shinobi and Hokage.

"I am Berwald Oxenstierna from Sweden. I am not from here." He said quietly, towering over Tsunade, Ibiki, and Inoichi.

"Sweden? Where is that?" Tsunade asked.

"It is a cold land of ice and snow during the long harsh winters."

"Well I really am sorry that we got off on the wrong foot. My name is Senju Tsunade, the leader of this village, and these are Yamanaka Inoichi and Morino Ibiki."

"Welcome to Konoha." Inoichi said respectfully.

The group made their way out of the destroyed room and into the warm sun of Konoha.

"Those clothes are no good; you'll roast alive in them." Tsunade tisked, looking at the thick navy trench coat and black pants. "Come, I'm taking you shopping." She ignored his protests and dragged Berwald to the shopping district.

Upon return, Tsunade stopped at the hospital to grab Naruto and took both blonds to Naruto's apartment. Berwald took that time to explain exactly what he was to Tsunade, she in turn explained why they reacted the way they did, and sorted out a place for the Swede to stay.

Tsunade gently put Naruto, still unconscious, into his bed and left. She gave Berwald some money for dinner and left, probably to avoid being yelled at by Shizune.

Berwald sighed and opened the fridge to find (much to his disgust) some spoiled milk, several dozen containers of ramen, and meat. He hurried to the store and began preparing dinner, after leaving a note for Naruto explaining his circumstances.

Naruto woke up to the smell of cooking food. He read the note and made his way into the kitchen.

"Hello. Dinner is ready Naruto." A soft yet deep voice snapped Naruto out of his thoughts.

"Heh, thanks!" Naruto eagerly dug in, and the nation was immediately grateful for his fellow Nordics' large appetites, because Naruto ate as much as Mathias, Tino, and Erik combined. 

Berwald ate slowly, hiding a smirk as Naruto started gobbling down dessert.

"Yum this is delicious! What's in it?" Naruto asked with his mouth full.

Taking a small sip of water, the older blond answered, "Carrot cake. Thank you but please don't talk while chewing."

"C-carrot cake? As in made with carrots?" Naruto whined, almost spitting it out.

"That's right. Lady Tsunade warned me about your hatred for healthy food so I used the same trick that I use with my brothers and children. Mix the vegetables into something tasty and they will never know."

Naruto whined about being lied to by dessert while Berwald snorted.

Once dinner was done, Berwald started cleaning up the kitchen. The rest of the apartment was kind of dirty too, so he quickly went to work on that too.

The rest of the evening passed uneventfully. Berwald sewed up Naruto's ripped clothes, deep cleaned the entire apartment, and sent Naruto to bed.

Naruto happily snuggled under the covers of his freshly made bed and sighed contentedly. So this is what having a father felt like.


	2. Kyuubi is Confused

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kyuubi aka Kurama wakes up and finds himself in Sweden's room. He's very confused. Where is his annoying jinchuuriki?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the bijuu have names, given to them by Rikudo Sennin. Kyuubi also mentions they have sibling like relationships.
> 
> Ichibi: Shukaku  
> Nibi: Matatabi  
> Sanbi: Isobu  
> Yonbi: Son Gokuu  
> Gobi: Kokuou  
> Rokubi: Saiken  
> Nanabi: Choumei  
> Hachibi: Gyuuki  
> Kyuubi: Kurama
> 
> I'm also giving Kyuubi a human form based on his fur color.
> 
> I imagine him as a well-built person around 6'2" with darker skin, long crimson hair, and blood red slitted eyes. He also has more emphasized whisker marks and likes to wear elegant silk kimono to show off his status as King of Bijuu. 
> 
> As he's a fire kitsune demon, he would have fire chakra, but chakra does not exist in the Hetalia world. So maybe he should have other ways to show his power?
> 
> Because he speaks Japanese, he will not understand anyone; Japan will have to translate for him.
> 
> Why can Sweden speak Japanese? He only knows a little bit because of how many times he goes to Japan and he watches some anime. Plus he learns fast. But trust me, he would sound very awkward in Japanese.
> 
> This chapter features the Nordics + Sealand and Ladonia. And Japan.
> 
> Manga-ka means manga author
> 
> Jinchuuriki means power of human sacrifice; in NARUTO they are the humans who contain the bijuu
> 
> -san is an honorific meaning Mr, Ms, Miss, or Mrs.
> 
> -kun is an honorific used on young boys (or immature young men like Italy and America)
> 
> Hope this clears things up!

Kurama slowly opened his eyes, dreading his annoying jinchuuriki's rather foolish thoughts greeting him.

He was not expecting to be in his human form, under the covers of a king sized bed. 

That jolted him awake. Where was he? 

His thoughts were startled by the bedroom door slamming open and 2 little kids running into the room screaming "Pappa! Pappa!" Followed by something unintelligible.

Which he guessed, judging by their grumbling stomachs, was them asking for breakfast.

Only when the kids looked up did they notice the red-haired stranger was not their father.

The blond boy started screaming while the ginger tried to look tough.

The screams led to 3 other blonds and one silverette of varying heights rushing in.

The tallest blond grabbed Kurama by his kimono collar and held him against the wall with a battle axe at his throat, speaking something angry in that gibberish language of his. 

The fox demon narrowed his eyes at the supposed human's anger. Whatever happened to whoever's bed this is what clearly none of his fault. And these "humans" were probably accusing him of eating the missing guy or something. This is why he hated humans.

And he would never admit it, but after 16 annoying years of being trapped in Naruto's mind, he had grown rather fond of the brat and was already unused to the silence in his mind. 

The tallest blond went stomping off somewhere, leaving the others behind to stare at him wide eyed.

Kurama wiped the dirt off his kimono and went downstairs. He should probably cook breakfast. If there's one thing he learned about humans, it was the little ones become monsters when hungry. Never step between a hungry Naruto and a bowl of ramen. He learned the hard way.

He went through the fridge and cabinets to get what he needed. The pots and pans were unnerving. He usually just hunted some kind of animal for food, and lit a fire using his chakra. The humans here had a fridge full of food and a bunch of funny looking buttons where the knobs for a stove should be.

All of the products he was holding had some funny writing on them. 

He was pretty unnerved by the strange appliances. The last time he cooked was in a smaller version of his demon form for a baby Naruto. The brat had to eat somehow and those crooks in the orphanage weren't gonna feed him. And all he did was hunt some animals and roast them over a fire. He also had heated up some milk.

He cautiously poked the toaster, only for it to go off and send burnt toast in his face, causing him to growl indignantly at the contraption. Didn't that thing know shooting things at the King of Bijuu is rude and insulting? Where were it's manners?

The other Nordics walked downstairs to find him attacking the toaster and growling at the microwave.

Finland sweat dropped, "I think we need an emergency world meeting..."

"Well since Berry's currently MIA, who's cooking?" Mathias asked.

"You and Tino are banned from cooking. I'll do it." Lukas grabbed a spatula and oversized apron.

One butter filled meal later, the Group was groaning and holding their stomachs minus Norway.

"I don't think eating that much butter is safe. I think I'm gonna be sick." Kurama turned an odd shade of green.

What was with the blond with the detached curl and drowning everything in butter? Didn't he know too much butter could make you sick? Or was this Kurama's punishment for being so angry all the time?

The redhead barfed up his breakfast outside in the pristine snow. 

"Blech." He decided to go eat some dear instead, though he found walking through waist deep snow to be quite challenging.

And it was so cold too! His clothing was not meant for the far north...though he didn't feel too cold, since being a fire demon meant he could just generate more body heat to survive this frigid climate.

The Nordics found him experimentally licking snow when they decided to leave for the emergency world meeting.

Crimson met azul and he noticed the comical expressions on their faces. Kurama knew they were laughing at him, even if he couldn't understand them.

He almost bit Mathias when the loud Dane tried to grab his hair and drag him with. The Dane decided to put duct tape over his mouth and tape his hands behind his back.

Together Mathias and Tino dragged the struggling demon into the car and into the world meeting.

Mathias knew from the look in Kurama's eyes that he was looking at a painful, fiery revenge.

When Japan looked over at the struggling demon who was biting at the tape and probably cursing the nations, his eyes widened.

"K-Kurama-san...w-what? How!" He dropped his manga in surprise, capturing the surprise of all the other nations.

Kurama finally succeeded in wrangling out of his bindings and pulling the duct tape. He glared at Japan.

"Who are you, pathetic human, and HOW do you know my name? How can I understand you? Where am I? Speak now or I'll burn you were you stand!"

All eyes shifted to the red-head currently promising death on Japan, who looked terrified out of his mind.

"He is Kurama-san, a character from NARUTO. I do not understand why he is here. Kishimoto-san and I were just experimenting..." He trailed off.

"Also none of us here are humans. We are personified countries. You are a fox demon." Japan deadpanned.

"Hej! Japan! This weirdo appreared this morning in Waldy's bed and Waldy is gone!" Mathias was pretty shaken, a rare emotion for the former viking.

"Waldy?" Japan deadpanned, looking at the other Nordics for help.

"He means Berwald, Sweden. Where is our brother, Japan? You know where he is. And who is this Kishimoto? Start talking." Lukas was tapping his war hammer against his palm threateningly.

Japan sweated nervously. "W-well my good friend Kishimoto-san, the manga-ka of NARUTO, and I were just sharing some ideas, so I thought it would be funny to switch 2 characters. I did not realize it would actually happen." 

He bowed his head apologetically. "I am truly sorry but I do not know how to switch your brother and Kurama-san back." He made sure to translate to Japanese for Kurama's sake.

The nations flinched as a dark aura reminiscent of Russia appeared behind the displaced bijuu. "You mean to tell me I am trapped here with these nincompoops indefinitely?" He gestured to Mathias who was sticking his tongue to a pole and laughing as America and Prussia tried to pull it off.

"I am truly sorry Kurama-san. All we can do is try to help you adjust to our world and hope Sweden-san can adjust to yours." Japan bowed politely.

"One major problem...I can't speak the common language here. And you're the only one here who understands me." Kurama sighed.

"You can stay with me then." Japan reasoned. 

"But what about clothes? I am much taller than you."

"Why not borrow clothes from Denmark-kun or Sweden-san then? Some of their clothes should fit you."

Kurama nodded in agreement.

Denmark relaxed greatly. "Man! I bet Waldy's keeping them in line just fine!" 

He then had a image of Berwald whipping a group of irresponsible humans into shape in his head.

Japan frowned, "Actually it is probably more like this. Konoha is not especially accepting of differences."

Japan was imagining the giant Swede tied to a log and being set on fire for being so different.

The other Nordics looked nervous and unsettled at that.

"All we can do is hope he comes home soon." Mathias had an uncharacteristic solemn look on his face, which then turned into a childish pout. "I miss his cooking and someone needs to do the laundry!"

The other nations sweat dropped.


End file.
